I realize that I run the risk of appearing extremely selfish, but it must be said that multiple attempts have been made to ruin my life this week. First, there was the closure of gyms as well as some food establishments, which effectively dismantled my (already) lean social life. Sure, it’s for the good of an entire nation, but still. Then disney fell Raya and the last dragon; an action-adventure piece with a duration of 107 minutes which, once again, reinforced my complex about real-life men. Namely, that they all pale in comparison to 2-D figures – in terms of personality, behavior and pretty much in every other aspect.
It is possible that the above statement put me on the list of all living and breathing men on the internet. But listen to me: you are dealing with a team of professionals here. I am talking about a team of animators who are, on the whole, very aware of the desires of the female population and who are paid to bring them to life. Do you have a chance? No, but you can take comfort in the fact that said characters cannot in fact steal your daughter. Will they, however, convey fantasies and totally improbable expectations that you are going to have to try to meet for the rest of your life? Well yeah.
As crazy as it sounds, this is hardly a new phenomenon. Animation has never been a category designed exclusively for children, despite the cartoon connotation. In recent years, it has evolved even further to encompass a mature audience (BoJack Rider); the LGBTQI + community (Steven universe); and even, uh, conspiracy theorists (Adventure time). Like the multitude of live productions on the market, these are simply media intended to convey certain messages or lessons to their audiences.
It stands to reason that, as with most of the media we consume, the theory holds true: hot people can pretend anything. remote watchable. And so, we have provided a conclusive list of – objectively! – attractive lively men over the years. The list below details the pioneers, while the gallery above features a larger selection gathered from various sources. Hey, I want to please. Scroll down.
Dimitri from Anastasia
To anyone who hasn’t had a crush on this guy: what were your formative years? Not really. It is thanks to him that I have a Pavlovian response to the guys who roll up their sleeves. They roll their wrists up and suddenly I find them inexplicably warmer. Who allowed this ?! Fox Animation Studios should be ashamed of themselves.
Li Shang from Mulan
The live performance failed because it did not feature a shirtless man yelling at other sweaty, shirtless people about the dangers of being out of shape. No, you’re not going to change your mind about it.
Tadashi Hamada from Great hero 6
A big, hard worker, and ridiculously charming robotics student voiced by Daniel Henney? Disney knew what they were doing, and I blame them a little. Plus, he’s made a healthcare machine that looks like a giant marshmallow – that’s big brain energy right there, folks.
Flynn Rider from Tangled
Everyone loves a bad boy who secretly turns out to have a good heart and is really bad at haircuts. I don’t make the rules.
Jack Frost from Rise of the Guardians
I remain convinced that Jack Frost is not actually an original character, but rather Chris Pine rendered in animated form. With a really good dye job, which explains a lot: the popularity of the character.